The final count down
by hp-Lover-4-Ever
Summary: If you want to hear of dark wizards of all time breaking down and extreem randomness please read. T just incase! ONESHOT ONLY but might have sequel or prequel! ENTER THIS FANFIC AT YOUR PERRAL! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


_The final count down: dun dun duuuuuun_

_By hp-lover-4-ever co. written by Lady of the Frozen black flame_

_Summery: If you want to hear of Dark Wizards of all time breaking down and extreme randomness please read._

**Disclaimer: my friend and I do not own HP even if we had a time turner…**

**hp-lover-4-ever: "LOTFBF have you found that spare time turner of mine yet? 'cause I lost my other one when I tried to take over hp last time."**

**LOTFBF: "ummm… nup not yet… Wait why am I looking for it, it was your fault last time!"**

**Hp-lover-4-ever: (shakes her head) "never mind!"**

**Both: Enjoy our fanfic! **

_Scene: The Borrow_

In the kitchen…

The Weasley's, Hermione and some members of the Order of the Phoenix were sitting in the Kitchen eating dinner when they heard a loud pop! They turned around to see the Dark Lord Voldemort and his gang of death eaters.

Voldemort: Mahahaha! It is time to die Potter! (Turns to find Harry) Where is Potter?

Ginny: Oh, you're a bit early… Harry doesn't come here until…(trails off and checks script) another 5 lines.

Voldemort: Ohhhh!

Bill: And you're not supposed to be here in this scene, the final count down is at the ice cream shop!

Voldemort: The ice cream shop?

Hermione: Yeah, the ice cream shop that's on Druley Lane (a/n from Shrek where muffin man lives)

Ron: I like ice cream…mmmmm ice cream

Mr. Weasley and Harry apparated in this room this moment.

Ginny: Seeeee? How did I know?

Charlie: you read the script!

Ginny: That doesn't mean that anyone else knows! And I thought that we were going to keep that a secret for exchange of me not telling everyone that you sniff past girlfriend's underwear.

Everyone: EEEEEW!

Death eater gang: Too much! Toooooo muuuuuuuch!

Harry: Ohhh kaaaaay? Why are you here? You're not supposed to be here, you're supposed to be at the ice cream shop!

Voldemort: Why does everyone know this but me?

Mr. Weasley: You haven't read the script have you!

Voldemort: No sir… (Looks down at the ground ashamed)

Mr. Weasley: and what have I told about not reading the script?

Voldemort: that I would be sent to my room for 5 minutes and we would talk about my actions.

Gred and feorge: Bad Voldy… Evil Voldy! (brings out an evil looking instrument)

Voldemort: Noooo not the evil thingy anything but the evil thingy!

Authoresses: hey stick to the script people! We didn't make it for nothing!

Everybody: Sorry!

Voldemort: Mahahahaha! It's time to die Potter!

Ginny: (brings out platter with the word Deyjavu on it) Deyjavu anyone!

Voldemort: Well they said stick to the script!

Voldemort creates barrier that surround Harry and himself.

Authoresses: hey you were supposed to duel at the ice cream shop!

Everyone: oh can it!

Authoresses look incredibly cut.

Voldemort: Scared Potter

Harry: You wish.

Authoresses: now everybody one… two… three…

Everyone: Deyjavu anyone!

Voldemort: Am I missing something here?

Death Eaters: Just get on with the script we're tired of keeping a scowl on!

Bellatrix: My cheek muscles are sore!

Voldemort: Okay okay keep your scowls on.

All death eaters groan

Minute of silence…

Voldemort: (breaks silence by..) _It's the final count down!_ (a/n if people don't know this is, it is a song and it is not ours… sorry forgot to mention in disclaimer)

Death Eaters groan

Bellatrix: Did I mention my mouth muscles hurt!

Another moment of silence…

Voldemort: Abra kadabra (meant to say Avada Kedavra)

Silence… everyone looks at him

Voldemort: Bloody He-!

Ron: hey J.k Rowling didn't give me that line for nothing you know! Without that all I would be is a boring sidekick!

Voldemort: oh sorry! (goes into deep thought)

Everybody waits in anticipation…

Voldemort: How about… Crap! (Looks at Ron)

Ron: Fine by me now go back to kicking each other's butts!

Voldemort: Avada Keblaba

Everyone looks at him again…

Voldemort: Don't tell me I didn't do it again!

Everyone nodds head

Voldemort : Crap! (Checks script) ah it's Avada Kedavra, I knew something was up.

Authoresses exchange looks..

Hp-lover-4-ever: well duh!

LOTFBF: Didn't you kills like loads of people with that curse?

Voldemort: well I wrote it at the back of my hand, I mean, it's such a hard curse to pronounce!

Authoresses: well they didn't mention any of that in the books!

Harry: can we please get back to the plot I want to kill this guy once and for all you know!

Voldemort: Avada Keblahverha… NOOOOOO NOT AGAIN!

(Voldemort shrinks into the fetal position sobbing extremely loud)

Authoresses: NOO. It happens every time, why do they have to break down, WHY!

Harry: Are you sure you're the dark lord Voldemort?

Voldemort: Who do you think I am, the Boggy Man?

Mrs. Weasley: Well… If you had a nose job I think you would look exactly like him.

Percy: You know the Boggy Man?

Mrs. Weasley: That's none of your business!

All Weasley children look at her…

Mrs. Weasley: Ummm… look You-know-who is having a mental break down and the authoresses are going nuts!

Authoresses: Hey we're not nuts! And what's this about you and the boggy Man?

Lucius: Is the whole world going crazy!

Draco: Only you dad! And stop embarrassing me! People are looking at me! I have a reputa-

Voldy: NOOOOOOOO! Don't sac me I'm way better than…Teddy!

Authoresses have evil grin on face.

Death Eaters: dun dun duuuuuun!

Everyone looks at Teddy…

Snape: My teddy! Nobody looks at my teddy like that…(caresses bear) don't worry teddy everything will be all right…

Prof. McGonagall: I thought he got over teddy in 5th grade?...

Prof. Lupin: Nah we just hid it from him! (Evil grin spreading across his face)

Everyone: I thought you were supposed to be the good one!

Prof. Lupin: it just shows to the world that everyone has secrets!

Random Death Eater: what happened to Boldy?

Draco: Don't you mean Voldy not Boldy?

Random death eater: But his bold… riiight..?

Voldemort: Do you see the ridicule that I have to put with?

Harry hugs Voldemort

Harry: Don't worry I get all the time with being the so called "the chosen one" thing, how do you think I feel…

Harry and Voldemort hug once more.

Everyone: AWWWW….

Ginny: does that mean they're gay?

Gred and feorge: probably

Hermione: But when have you been right?

Gred: true

Feorge: very true.

Harry: Now let's get back to killing each other.

Voldemort: but I would have to say Avada Kedavra! (Wand pointing to ground where own foot lay) (foots dead)

Authoresses: Yay! He got it right!

Voldy: Ow my foot… I can't feel my foot! (Shakes foot vigorously)

Voldemort: Damn! Oh well!

Harry: Can I kill you now?

Voldemort: Only if you can catch my 'cause I'm Voldemort! Mahahaha! (Runs…hit's barrier surrounding them)

Voldemort: Bloody He-!

Ron: (cough) (cough)! (Tapping foot in progress)

Voldemort: Oh… I mean crap! I've gotta stop doing that especially running into that bloody barrier!

Voldemort disengages barrier and runs off and almost colliding with the Weasley's kitchen door.

Voldemort: Damn! (Runs out with out further delay)

Avery: Oh great! We're dead! (Runs out following his master)

Random Death eater: Does that mean we need a new master?

Lucius: I'll be your master! See I can do the laugh… mahahahaa! (Sounds like opera voice)

Bellatrix: Ahhhhh! No way! (Follows Lord Voldemort outside) I'm coming master there's no way I'm having an opera singer for my master!

Authoresses: (holds out teddy) How about him as your master?

Snape: Teddy I'm sooo pround of you! (Tear coming out of eye)

Death Eaters: Hail the Dark Lord Teddy!

Harry: What about Lord Voldemort?

Authoresses: Well, we were going to sac him anyway!

Harry: But can I still kill him?

Authoresses: (shrug) If you want to!

_And so from that moment on Teddy became the most feared wizard of all time._

Hp-lover-4-ever: And He was a bigger hit than Voldemort!

LOTFBF: Amen to that!

(A/n The mistakes of Avada Kedavra curse came from hp-lover-4-ever when she accidentally spoke to fast and tripped over the words (not literally) I hope you liked our fan fic! We are wondering if you want us to make a sequel about Mrs. Weasley and the boggy Man? Tell us your thoughts. PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW FOR US!)


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